Reason #37 Why Not to Shop at Walmart

Ok... I went to Wal-Mart today... had to... long story. Also, as fate would have it, when I walked in I had to go to the men's room.

I touch nothing with my bare hands when I go into ANY public restroom. Especially a place as public as The Wal-Mart.

As I went to wash my hands I noticed that in two of the three sinks there was lots and lots of hair clippings. Apparently I had just missed someone getting their ears lowered in the restroom of the local Wal-Mart. It was probably some dude trimming his own mullet before getting his family photo taken at the Wal-Mart Portrait Studio.

Priceless!

That has to be just a step above a prison haircut.

So This Is Christmas?

I am full of turkey right now.

What a great feeling, I could pass into a deep sleep at any moment. My two wonderful children came this afternoon and we exchanged gifts. Then we sat down to a rare event... I cooked a large meal, mostly from scratch. It took me most of yesterday to prepare so I was glad that they seemed to like it.

No glue gun so far. (Of course I don't exchange gifts with my Mom until next weekend)

Wishing peace and quiet to all of you.
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My Blog Policy

If I can't think of a good blog... then my policy is not to post at all.

So how do I explain this crappy posting?

You shouldn't have... No really you shouldn't have

Gift of christmas past. Here is the story:

Year: 1995
Gift received: Hot Glue Gun
From: Mom
Status: Returned it... didn't tell Mom

Year: 1996
Gift received: Hot Glue Gun
From: Mom
Status: Returned it... didn't tell Mom

Year: 1997
Gift received: Hot Glue Gun
From: Mom
Status: Returned it... didn't tell Mom

Year: 1998
Gift received: Hot Glue Gun
From: Mom
Status: I busted out laughing... told Mom and kept the damn thing... GEEZZZZZ

Now every Christmas when I open my gift from her I shake it and say "Hope this isn't another hot glue gun." btw- I love my Mom... she laughs at the glue gun story too.

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Bare Naked Christmas Tree

Is there anything more depressing than undecorating before Christmas?
Lights on... lights off.

Oh well... maybe these new lights will make it through the 25th.

Side Post:
My favorite Christmas movies...

Christmas Vacation - "It's the holidays and we're all miserable"
How the Grinch Stole Christmas - Jim Carrey's best role
A Christmas Story - "You'll shoot your eye out, kid!"
Scrooged - Bill Murry is rotten and funny

I need your help Clark Grizwald!

Ok...

Tree out of closet... Check

Lights on tree... Check

Ornaments on tree... Check

Done and done. That was four days ago.

This morning the little electic lights aren't working. The outlet works just fine... I plugged a lamp in there and it is a working "hot" connection. The string of bulbs just gave out. Maybe if i kick and shake the tree it will come back to life.

Like I have the time to take all the ornaments off and then remove all of the dead lights ... and put all new lights back on and then ornaments back on.

Aaarrrgghhhh!!

Is this some kind of Chinese Christmas Light Manufacturing Mob conspiracy to drive me crazy??!?!

Pass me some eggnog and the Tylenol!

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I'm Not Weird... I'm Unique

Got tagged to fess-up to 5 odd-ball, strange or weird habits.

1. Write lists about anything and everything.
I have a dry erase board in my fridge that gets a daily workout recording my upcoming grocery run.

2. Watch at least one "Court" show a day.
Serving up television justice cracks me up. Judge Judy, Judge Mathis, Judge Alex, Judge Joe Brown, Peoples Court, Divorce Court... and of course Judge Larry Joe from Texas Justice. You're out of order if you aren't an at-home jury member of any of these shows.

3. Sleep with telephone in my bed.
Keeps me in close contact with my Sweetie.

4. Stare into the food pantry.
Everytime I pass my food pantry in the kitchen I look into it and scan all the shelves hoping some great treat has magically materialized since the last time I checked.

5. Carry a small gray wishing stone with me everywhere I go.
My reminder from her that she loves me.

I am sure there are more... I'll start making a list.

Death Before Fashion Disaster

Conversation with my 15 year old daughter two minutes after we were suppose to leave for school this morning:

Kelsey: We have to stop by Mom's before school.
Me: Why?
Kelsey: I forgot to bring my bag with my earrings.
Me: Can't you wear the ones that you had on yesterday?
Kelsey: No. They don't match what I have on today.
Me: Can you go a day without wearing any?
Kelsey: Nope.

At this point she gives me that "sans-earrings-is-not-an-option -even-if-I-am-late-for-school-I am-still-going-to-be-fashionable" look.

Me: Let's go... I'll drive.
Kelsey: Don't drive slow on purpose.

I'll do almost anything to make her happy and to insure that she picks out a good nursing home for me when I'm in the "drooling-years".

(we made it with 11 minutes to spare)

My Drama Queen Can Beat Up Your Drama Queen

My fifteen year old daughter, Kelsey competed yesterday in the Alabama state drama competion and won 1st place!

Now she goes on to the National competion in Orlando. To be honest with you I didn't even know that there was drama competion... but I guess there is for everything else so why not?

Anyway, I could not be prouder. Just glad she is using her talent for good instead of for evil.

Now I need to fall into the roll of the manipulative manager/father.

I knew her when.